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Recently I prayed and asked God to deepen my shallow faith. Soon after, I began experiencing waves of doubt. I've heard that doubts are kind of growing pains associated with deeper faith, but I'm concerned that if I really take these doubts head on that I won't arrive at the conclusion other Christians have arrived at. My question is this - should I push the doubts away and make myself believe in Christ, or should I hear these doubts out in hopes that I'll come out on the other side with a new, stronger faith?
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When I first got saved at an evangelistic crusade, I began going to different churches. As you may know, many churches have altar calls. I went forward numerous times to be saved, i.e. doubting my salvation. But I was saved the first time! Sometimes when I’ve been a “wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind,” (James 1:6) and I’ve been like Peter, sinking in the raging seas, about to drown. Sometimes, when you’re there, the people who think they could have walked on water are in fact stepping all over you, pushing you even further underwater. But Jesus didn’t kick Peter down below the surface because he had failed—He pulled Peter out. Graciously discussing and answering questions is not the same as getting defensive or shaming the one who is doubting. One can be a hand reaching out to save, while the other can be a boot to kick them while they’re down. Because of this, it can be scary to admit your doubts to others, but find some close friends to share with who can thoughtfully engage with you, challenge you, encourage you and pray with and for you.
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