What should I do now that my former fiance and mother of my child wants to get married, but she is an unbeliever?
I had a child with my non-believer fiance. We broke up since, but she is willing to get married now. Do I marry her to give my daughter a family unit with a Christian dad and upbringing even if it would mean we're unequally yoked?
2 Corinthians 6:14
ESV - 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Paul Stewart
Do you want to marry her? The idea that you'll change her once married is not a solid foundation. If you want to marry her then marry her, else let her go. Her decision to follow Christ or not is her own.
Craig Kelly
I know I can't change her only Jesus can do that, the main question I have is if I would be unequally yoked and sinning against God. I have heard it said that I am already unequally yoked since a child has been born from our relationship and I wouldn't be sinning if I married my daughter's mom. Since we have had a child together I feel it my responsibility to give my daughter a family unit and a Christian dad whose going to raise her on the foundation of Christ and disciple her, because I know it's highly unlikely that my daughter will get a Christian upbringing if we are not a family.
Shirley H
I think you should read the question and response on this site: "What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?"
I also think that you both should seriously consider if you love each other enough to make a commitment of marriage.
Another consideration is the child. She is innocent. Can you both commit to being a family? Will you raise her in a harmonious home? Can you both agree to teach her about God, and let her choose?
I pray you make, both make, the best choice for all of you.
Even if you do not marry, it is your right to teach her about your faith. God give you both wisdom.
Jennifer Rothnie
If you have had intimate relations, then you are already yoked. Hence all the cautions in scripture about adultery (breaking someone else's yoke) and prostitution (joining in flesh while intending it not to be permanent.) That doesn't mean getting married would always automatucally be the wisest option, but it does mean that 'unequally yoked' isn't the overarching concern. The unequal yoking has already happened.
Shirley H
I think it may be important to read this verse of scripture in context. This verse is in a portion that talks about Paul's concern that the Corinthians were withdrawing from Him, at least emotionally. He had been delivering his gospel of truth.
The concern was that they were being drawn in by false apostles. Compare this verse to 2 Corinthians 11;4, 13.
Proverbs 4, talks about wisdom and the need for father's to teach their children.
Shirley H
This is also important to keep in mind...We are all born in sin, due to Adam. Romans 3:20,"Therefore by the deeds of the Law no flesh shall be justified in His sight, for by the Law is the knowledge of sin."
Each baby born is innocent, until the age of accountability. Nothing we do can change that fact. Everyone has to choose his own path.
2Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new."
Parents can only do so much.
Danny Hickman
First of all, 2 Cor 6:14 is not a reference to marriage. To make that scripture about marriage is to read it out of context. Marriage is not a yoke. A yoke refers to a burden. To be "yoked together" is synonymous to the character of oxen pulling a plow. I've been married for 47 years, loving every minute of it. I don't think I want to team up with my wife Faye and pull a plow. That's the way this scripture is being understood when you make it mean something in reference to marriage.
That needs to stop!! When will the church get past the secular reading of the Word?
Paul is describing his ministry, the ministry of the universal church. Nowhere in the whole chapter does he talk remotely about marriage. I suggest that you find another scripture to lean on to either deny yourself the right to marry whomever you choose, or to try and make yourself happy with whomever you choose. But hear this: God will bless your relationships if you bless them. If you marry a prostitute God will bless the relationship if you honor Him in it.
Would today's church use 2 Cor 6:14 to accuse Hosea and Gomer, the prophet's adullteress wife, of being "unequally yoked together," even knowing that God told the prophet to marry her? Was God "unequally yoked" with Israel? Hosea's marriage was a metaphor of God being cheated on by Israel.. (Hosea 3:1)
Is Jesus unequally yoked with the church? Any marriage you read about in scripture should be studied with the thought of Jesus and the church.