“The Lord is long-suffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation”
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I would say that the sins of the fathers affect their children not in the sense that God would regard the children as having also committed those same sins, but from the standpoint that the consequences of the sinful actions of an individual can have adverse implications that affect that individual's descendants, even though those descendants were not involved in, or guilty of, their ancestor's sinful actions. An example from Scripture that occurs to me would be the manner in which all of the Israelites (including those who were too young to have had a voice in the matter at the time) were required to wander in the wilderness for forty years because of the adult Israelites' rejection of the report of the individuals whom Moses had sent to spy out the Promised Land (Numbers 13-14).
I believe it used to be the case that the consequences of the fathers' sins were visited on the children. But in the New Covenant, according to Jeremiah 31:29-30 and Ezekiel 18:1-4 God himself has given us a new dispensation. So everyone will answer for his/her sin. But I also believe that one must be accepted into the new covenant by believing in the Lord Jesus Christ and following him, in order to escape the operations of the old covenant as mentioned in Numbers 14:18. This means, if you are in Christ you won't be visited with the consequences of your father's sins. When you believe in the Lord Jesus, you are in a safe place to avoid suffering the punishment of sins committed by someone else decades before you were born. The cross takes away every curse and gives us divine exchange. Hallelujah.
I think this could pertain to what people like to call generational curses but are better expained by the environment people grew up in; for example, statistically, the children of an alcoholic parent or parents are more likely to abuse drugs and/or alcohol. The quoted percentages vary, but hover around fifty percent, versus approximately twenty-five percent for children of non-alcoholics, and reseach shows that the first group leans toward starting sooner and escalating faster than their peers. Another example of environmental factors is children raised in homes where there is domestic violence; these children are also more likely to repeat that pattern in adulthood and pass it on down the line until someone draws a line in blood. Gender also factors into this situation, meaning male children whose fathers were abusive to their mother, or other female(s) in the home, are more likely to do the same. Another factor is social isolation, which cause children to think this is normal because they have no comparison. Many women try to cover up the abuse and encourage their children to do the same by making excuses for the behavior or blaming themselves. Naturally, women are inclined to repeat the pattern also; however, the percentage is lower and also depends somewhat on which parent is the abuser. Mothers who abuse their children often beget adults that do the same. As Solomon said, "There is nothing new under the sun." So, I think this is one way that the sins of the father (and mother) are passed down. I remember being shocked at a lot of things. This included the first time I actually read the whole Bible (Moses said what!). Twenty years later, I take more care in exploring commentaries and seeking out the meaning behind the words, because I know that God is good,. So, as my pastor says, (paraphrasing) "If you see something that makes God seem cruel, mean, uncaring, etc., you need to look further, because our God is a God of love and the Bible is a love story." I hope this helps. God bless!
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