Anonymous (via GotQuestions)
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Danny Hickman
Mr Houdmann's answer trivializes "falling in love." (putting that in quotes was his idea) Why? Is falling in love not biblical? (his constant is valuing life's practices on the basis of whether they are "biblical" or not). I call it overspiritualizing. I think it confuses the average person even more than they were before they asked for help.
Mr Kraft gave his testimony of how he and his wife of 57 years were a high-school couple. I identify with that because I and my wife Faye met in high-school and have been married for almost 49 years ( in 2 months). I don't know about Mr Kraft, but I didn't ask Faye what she thought about the bible or anyone in it. I asked her to go to the "Show" with me. (that’s the movies to you suburbanites). Here we are 49 years later!
I concur with Mr Kraft saying he doesn't recommend his and his wife's path to a life of love. But I also don't poo poo it. (Pastor Tony Evans likes to say, 'God can hit a straight target with a crooked stick.') I agree!
I fell in love in high-school; that isn't biblical; it didn't have to be for Jesus to be involved with our growth into maturity.
You don't have to do a christian inspection on the person with which you fall in love. That's not a sure-fire way to a happy future. It's probable that if the players are not reading the same bible they'll put their bibles down for the sake of their relationship; especially if they're young. If they're older they usually have guardrails in place. (that is biblical)
Danny Hickman
What do you do when someone you care about gets involved with someone that might cause them to "put their bible down?" You continue to pray for them. (been there, done that) Your prayer should be that God will establish those guardrails that reveal his presence in their lives.
Happiness is often our main concern in life; as long as we're not hurting anyone else we don't see anything wrong with putting it first in our everyday life pursuits. It can block our view of what God is trying to do with us.
That's what I think Mr Houdmann tries to teach; that's why I think he put falling in love in quotations. (in case I'm right, I say point taken)
I don't believe it helps us to put happiness on one side of the ledger, and a close relationship with God on the other side, before we have a reason to suspect that they are in conflict. Are they incompatible?
Many read the scriptures and come away thinking happiness is not high for us on God's priority list. Jesus is called by Isaiah, 'A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.' (Isaiah 53:3) God's own Son...
Why are we told that? (two verses later) "By his stripes we are healed."
His sorrow is the source of our victory over sin and death. It doesn't guarantee us a happy marriage, though. Nothing does! That doesn't mean we should inadvertently teach young people to be pessimists. If we aren't careful that's the message we project.
If you fall in love, trust God! Go for it! Keep your eyes on his crooked stick!
Danny Hickman
Jacob, the younger of Isaac's twin boys, "fell in love" within a month of meeting his cousin Rachel, the younger daughter of his mother's brother, Laban (Genesis 29).
(Here's a delicate part of the story; this can go overlooked when we read the Bible because it is the Bible, and the culture was very different. Know this: God was no different then than he is now).
Laban said to Jacob, "Because you are my relative, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what should your wages be?" Jacob said he would serve Laban 7 years for Rachel. Seven years later Laban tricks him into marrying his older daughter Leah instead of Rachel.
What was God's view of the culture, the practice of subjugating women in that way? It's said repeatedly that Jacob loved Rachel; it isn’t said once that Rachel loved Jacob.
When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb; but Rachel was barren (Gen 29:31). (God and that 'crooked stick.') Leah has three sons, and after each son is born she says 'now my husband will love me.' But he didn't; then she had her 4th son Judah and she says, "Now I will praise the LORD." (vs 35) then she stopped bearing. (hmm)
When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel ENVIED her sister. (Gen 30:1) She gives Jacob her maid Bilhah, by which to have a child. And the plot got real thick between her and her sister!
This is dysfunctional; but look at the results; Jesus came from these people.
(I don't think Rachel loved Jacob; Leah wanted to BE loved!)