Jennifer Rothnie Supporter Housewife, Artist, Perpetually Curious

Marriage is ultimately meant to be a reflection of our walk with Christ (II Cor 11:2). Just as we enter a covenant with a spouse, so we enter into a higher covenant with God. The earthly is a type/figure of the heavenly relationship we have.

As such, divorce is a serious topic, as it shows our understanding of covenants, love, and reverence for God in general. Earthly divorce is as if we were unfaithful and rejected God (Jer 3:20). God hates divorce (Mal 2:16, I Cor 7:10), as nothing should separate what God has put together (Matt 19:6). There is no allowance for it other than unfaithfulness (Matt 19:9, Matt 5:32). 

From the perspective of God's law, the divorced woman commits adultery by remarriage, and the man who marries her causes her to commit adultery. Unless her husband was an unbeliever that left her, the wife is bound to her (first) husband as long as he lives (I Cor 7:12-16, I Cor 7:39). Remarriage is not a new beginning in this case, rather it could become a lifelong repetition of the first adultery.

However, this is a matter of law, and we are under grace. That does not mean that we -should- sin, that we should embrace adultery, or that a pastor should promote adultery by wedding the two who have thrown away their first vows. Rather, it means that Christ forgives even adultery, and when he forgives our penalty is erased. He cancels the debt and wipes the ledger clean. We then have great freedom, so long as we are walking by the spirit.

For example - in this case a child is involved. If the first husband refuses to reconcile and sends his wife who broke her covenant away, then she is faced with the consequence of bringing up a child alone. If she is repentant of her sin, then Christ's forgiveness covers the sin. [This is much as if someone fell and slept around before marriage, or the grace each of us are given for the lusts in our hearts]. She might then remarry for the sake of the child.

However - if it was the woman who initiated the divorce, or who by continued adultery and refusal to reconcile forced it, and she now is marrying the man she committed adultery with because she feels she loves him more, or somesuch - she should take care. By embracing a sin, rather than repenting, we harden our hearts. Christ will forgive, but only if we acknowledge our sin as evil and turn from it. When we leave the covenant of our youth, it doesn't just heart others but it shames the higher covenant we have with God (Hos 1:2, Jer 3:1-2).

The best friend should also take care and examine himself. He not only betrayed his friend, but he also incited a woman to break her covenant. Then, he seeks to enter a covenant when both parties have already judged marriage covenants worthless! Christ will forgive his sin if he repents, and God can bring good even out of such tragic betrayal - but he should take care that his heart does not justify his sin instead of turning from it. His concern must now be towards reconciling with all injured parties, and for the welfare of the child.

A third warning is toward any in the church community around them that have witnessed this, or any christian pastors or counselors involved, especially with the remarriage (I Cor 5:1-3). If the man and woman are not repentant, then they may need to go through the process of church discipline. Ideally, a pastor should not marry the two unless they have made all attempts to reconcile with the injured party and have shown they are aware and repentant of their sin. The child can always be placed with a relative or other temporary measure while the adults involved are healing.

As for the man who was injured, he has suffered a terrible blow by the people closest to him. Hopefully, the church will come around him. It will be difficult not to let bitterness set in, and as such he will need prayer and gentle encouragement to forgive.

October 13 2014 • 3 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report