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For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Ma. Bernadette Lavin
God said infidelity is the only reason in which divorce is allowed, but what if couples are hurting each other physically? Wouldn't they be better off separated (not divorced) to stop sinning even more until both get professional help? By separation, I mean, living separately and not getting into relationships that will cause them to commit adultery. If couples are hurting each other, worst case scenario, mariticide or familicide. Will this type of separation go against God's law on the union in marriage?
Colin Wong
Hi Bernadette. If there is physical abuse involved, it is no longer just a sin but also against the law of the land. The Bible is not saying a husband may physically abuse his wife and the wife must submit to it. If separation is warranted (husband is unrepentant and cannot control himself, wife is in danger), then the Bible does not prevent this.
All the commandments, laws etc. you read in the Bible must ultimately be interpreted to mean the following:
Matthew 22:35-40
An expert in the law, tested Jesus with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Letting a husband abuse his wife does not fulfill either commandments.
Alice Yornas
What about emotional violence in marriage? Various researches have shown that emotional stress is one of the root causes of cancer. Should one continue to be in a marriage that has been characterized by emotional violence for years?
Danny Hickman
God did not say "infidelity is the only reason in which divorce is allowed."
The bible states that Jesus said 'the person who divorces except for infidelity commits adultery.' He also said 'the person who looks at a woman to lust for her commits adultery.'
Also, if a person marries a person who is divorced that person commits adultery and causes the other person to commit adultery.
Before this proclamation by Jesus the people thought the divorce decree that was granted by the law of Moses was lawful, and it was. They were ALLOWED to divorce at will. Moses made the law and that made it lawful. All Jesus did was let them know the fallacy of their law.
It's lawful today to do many things that are morally wrong.
It's lawful to look at women in a lustful way. It's also adultery.
It's lawful to try to make as much money as you possibly can. It's also idolatry and greed.
Jesus wasn't trying to get people to stay married at all costs. That is an immature understanding of scripture. He was trying to let the people know that they who were following the letter of the law of Moses was just as guilty as the people who flouted the law of Moses.
I've never been divorced but it doesn't matter anyway. I've never been under the law that Jesus was explaining.
But... if I look at a woman to lust after her I still commit adultery.
Staying married just to try and keep a law is (in my opinion) living in sin.
God looks at the heart.
Danny Hickman
Why would the Pharisees "test" Jesus by asking Him if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife?(Mk 10:2)
His answer was a question. He asked what had Moses said. They knew what the Mosaic law said. So how would that test Jesus?
It's evident that there was a dispute among the people about divorce at that time, the way there is a dispute about contemporary law among believers today, divorce included. We're still having the same disputes. Law and grace are brothers fighting over a birthright.
For Him to disagree with the law of Moses would make Him a lawbreaker in their estimation. It was sacrilegious to downgrade the law. To some it still is.